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While many parents struggle to keep their toddlers away from the TV, there are others who have to deal with active toddlers who are constantly on the move and who look for avenues to attract their parents’ attention all the time.
Parenting an active toddler can be challenging and only apt parental care can help such children in developing into responsible adults. You may have successfully set the limits during early age about acceptable and unacceptable behaviors through non-verbal actions but as your child turns into a toddler it is time to learn about the meaning of specific actions that the child indulges in.
It is important for you to explain the meaning of certain actions that you take too. If you scold the child for pouring the bottle of barbeque sauce on the floor and then continue to splash water on the floor to clean it, the child may get confused about what is allowed and what is not.
Explaining that the water is meant to clean the sauce is important so that your child does not get confused about what is ‘okay’ to do. Children often tend to misread situations and making sure that your toddler interprets your actions in the right manner is essential. Only you can keep the process moving ahead to (as they say) clear the cobwebs and help in improving concentration in your child.
The first aspect of handling an active and aggressive toddler is to make him understand that aggression is much more than a physical and behavioral expression. It is an emotion that one needs to control.
* Raise his feelings to the level of ideas. You can do this if you understand that a toddler cannot conceive a dialogue and express his emotions in a proper language.
* Pretend plays and narratives that promote and support contemplation of emotions help children to understand what lies beyond the physical and behavioral aspect of aggression.
* Make you child aware of all the emotions. It is obvious that we all want our children to grow up to be nice people. But it is equally important to make them understand the range of emotions that we as human beings are capable of experiencing.
* Do not try to shield your child from emotions like anger and aggression. It is wrong to believe that your child will not indulge in aggression if you avoid mentioning it in front of him. Actually, the more you attempt to hide, the bigger challenge it becomes for the immature mind to adapt to it later. It is also important to realize that even if you shield your child from such negative emotions, there will be a time when he or she will get exposed to it somewhere else. And this could be in a place where you are not available to provide adequate counseling.
* Provide counseling about good, bad, acceptable and unacceptable emotions when the right moment arises. So, instead of changing the channel when a good guy kills the bad guy, it is better to present positive ideas like ‘let us help them become friends’. In short, help your child to adopt a contemplative attitude towards emotions and work together to provide a proper channel to channel those emotions positively.
A permissive and a punitive parent in the same family is a common occurrence. Both are not doing their duty as responsible parents if they do not provide food for thought to the toddler before allowing or disallowing something. If you want to learn how to calm impulsive children you should help them learn the manner in which they can control feelings and give a positive expression to emotions.
Till the time children are able to reason out things on their own, the onus of interpreting various actions rests on you. Improper handling at this stage is liable to create child concentration problems which can cause major problems later.
Reference:
http://life.famil...ggression/40420.html
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Posted on June 19th, 2008 by Dee
Filed under: Parenting Skills
As a parent of a very active 20 month little boy - how do I channel this energy that he has into good things? Am I expecting too much when I ask him to sit like the other children during storytime at the Library? Is he not ready for this structured public enviroment? I want to be a good parent - but I am constantly struggling with what to do with this boy to keep him out of trouble. He is easily distracted and rarely sits still for more than 10 minutes, unless he is watching the childrens programs on PBS. Then he will sit still for the entire 30 minute program. I feel like I am running into a brick wall on a daily basis.
I don’t think you’re necessarily asking too much - but maybe you’re asking it for too long. A child that age wants to explore, touch, taste, feel - that is how he learns.
Maybe during story time at the library you could have a book just for him that has things to touch within it - many children’s books now have that type of textual interaction built in. If not, maybe a good old-fashioned pop-up book.
I truly don’t think ANY child around the age of two is ready for a structured public environment. BUT, that doesn’t mean he isn’t ready to *begin* learning. Teach, guide and expect improvement, not immediate success.
If he gets too restless during story time, take him outside to grab a leaf off of a tree and teach him something small about nature. The point of story time is to make them think, pique their curiosity and expand awareness. But, if they’re restless and you get into a battle of wills over a structured learning time, what good has that done? What has he learned?
You need to balance structured learning with fun and ‘hands on’ learning. And you need to realize he’s still a baby. I know you want to help him become everything he can possibly be - but at the same time, how long will he be 20 months old? The key is always balance. LET him be a child while he’s a child - and the whole time, gently guide him into appropriate behavior while always expecting (and wanting) him to be a normal, active toddler. Normal toddlers do not sit still for long, believe me. lol
He really reminds me of my youngest son - he was the same way - and he was a challenge, let me tell ya. He won’t learn to sit still and what is appropriate behavior overnight - it will take years. My ‘baby’ just turned 16 and I’m still taking lots of ‘time outs’ to sit and talk with him about various situations he’s gotten into, and getting him to ‘think things through’ from his own perspective and the perspectives of others. Parenting a LONG process, but is there anything else you’d rather do than be this baby’s mommy? Probably not
IF his lack of attention remains a problem when he begins school, THEN begin to look into some natural alternatives. Native Remedies has 2 awesome products called BrightSpark and Focus Formula - these rock - they helped my boy and they’re guaranteed (ya get your money back if they don’t work).
Feel free to email me if you need to vent, want some advice or have a question. I’m not super mommy, but I have raised 6 and have encountered dang near everything in the last 25 years lol.
Many blessings,
Dee