If I'd Only Have Known....

If I’d Only Have Known….

I know a lot of this is going to sound very familiar to the parents who have gotten their children raised, but please bear with me, I’m on my first teen girls!

Jessi is almost 17 - a smart, funny, sweet, incredibly sensitive, beautiful girl about whom all other adults rave. She’s National Honor Society, gets nominated for Achievement Seminars and her teachers think she is *the* golden child.

Normally she is shy, quiet, eager to help in any way she can, agreeable and sweet. Then, we have the “Exorcist” moments. You know, those times when you’re sure if you keep keep watching, her head is gonna start spinning right there on her shoulders like Regan in that famous movie.

Thursday morning I was running late, and was rushing to get my youngest boy out the door and off to school. Jess comes out - and in THE whiniest voice imaginable, informs me that she needs “doctor clothes” and a stethoscope - now. My response was “Jess, they’re in the bottom of the Halloween box, I’m late, go find them.”

She huffs and replies “I’m just going to take your good stethoscope, I have a skit this morning and I need it.”

Well, I’m not exactly a morning person (ok, that’s an understatement), and I wasn’t all to happy about her taking a $300 stethoscope to school - so, I told her no. God help me, I said no.

She flounces into the spare room where the Halloween stuff is stored and I followed her. “Jess, when did you know about this skit?”

“Two or three days ago.”

“And you’re just NOW telling me? WHY??? If you’d have said something last night, we could have gotten all this together.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m just taking your stethoscope.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You’re a controlling bitch.”

DING DING DING DING

Ok, I’m proud of something here. I walked OUT of the room. I did not touch her, I did not beat her, I did nothing except walk out of the room, daring her to touch my stethoscope as I was walking out.

I left and took her brother to school. Wondering the whole way how great it would feel to pinch her little head off.

This is an important point - especially to new parents. It is NORMAL to *really, really* want to thump your child at times. As a matter of fact, there are times you can be almost positive that it would be damn near orgasmic to push them through the nearest wall.

The difference between good parents and abusive parents is that the good parents manage to resist the urge. And, I’m sorry, any mom or dad who says he or she NEVER wanted to hurt their child is either a liar or wasn’t there. Period.

None of seem to have any clue that our sweet, beautiful, smiling babies will turn into these snotty, holier-than-thou, know-it-all, sneaky, mouthy, and sometimes seemingly demon-possessed creatures who also happen to KNOW that mom or dad is THE dumbest person who EVER walked the face of the earth. Welcome to teenager-hood.

Maybe we don’t know this because it would be the most effective birth control ever and our race just wouldn’t propogate. Or, maybe we don’t know it because if we did, we’d live in terror for the first 13 years. Or, maybe we just conveniently forget how WE acted and how stupid OUR parents were when we were 16.

Whatever the reason, when it first starts happening, you’re left standing there going “Oh my GAWD, who IS this person? Where is my sweet little…”.

I’m TOLD that they start coming back around at about age 20 or so. So, I’m hanging on for dear life, trying to love her even when she’s totally unloveable, and holding onto what I know to be true about her - that she is one neat young lady under there somewhere.

But, if I’d only have known….

:o)

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